This is who I really am.

I have always loved music. One of the things that I love about music is that sometimes you find that perfect song that seems to say what you want to say. Or maybe a song that completely expresses the way you feel or have felt. There is one band in particular that always seems to put out songs that so perfectly fit me that I swear that I must have written them in my sleep and sent them the lyrics. Our Lady Peace is the name of that band. Their music is a little on the lighter side of what I usually listen to. I have loved their music since the day I really paid attention to the lyrics. At the time I was in a really bad place. Nobody knew what was going on but I was really struggling. Like most 18-21 year olds I was trying to figure out who I was, where I was and why I was there. I am pretty sure everyone has gone through that or will go through it. For me, my way out was music. Some of the music I was listening to at that time was dark and negative. That really didn't hel...

"Gotta finish strong!" If you have ever run with me then you have probably heard me say this. No matter if it is a race, a training run or just an easy run just to get some exercise it always feels good to finish strong. For me the best way to make sure that I can be happy with my run is to finish strong. Some days you just have a hard time where you are tired and don't feel like you can keep going. Some days you might be hurting and feel like quitting. All you have to do is get to that last mile. I have heard it called "the victory lap" or "the easiest mile". I always look at it as a way to judge exactly where I am physically. When I know I have one mile left I know I can make it. Now it is time to see what I've got. I don't just take off and throw it into another gear. I start to pick up my pace a little. My adrenaline is usually starting to really kick in. Sometimes I have to fight the urge to just take off. Once I get to a half-mile I rea...

Right now I am in a bit of a funk. Right now I am having trouble getting where I want to be. I just started a new workout. The problem is that I am eating way too much. I am doing more physically than I was but the real problem is what I am eating. I know what to do. I am just having trouble making myself do it. I have been here before. The point of "something has to change". Sometimes you get to a point where you just deal with things the way they are because, well, it is just easier. You may not be happy with your body or your job or the person you are with. You may not be happy with it but you tell yourself you really can't do anything about it. But you can. Most people know that I went through a big change a few years ago. I weighed 260 pounds. I was all fat, no muscle. I didn't really feel like I could change. When I joined a weight loss competition at work I learned that I could change. 78 pounds later I was a new person. I have since added alot more weight. M...

I remember watching my dad run when I was a kid. I remember looking out the window thinking how awesome it was. I remember asking him about running and telling him that I wanted to run with him one day. I never got a chance to. I really had kind of forgotten those memories until recently. I started running when I was 28. That was nineteen years after he passed away. I always knew I wanted to run but never really tried. I have a picture of him running. His running form looks like mine. So I guess that means that my perfect running form was inherited. He carried a small bullwhip he got from Mexico as protection from the dogs on his route. I have that whip but I haven't felt the need to carry it yet. Everytime I see it I remember him telling me about the dogs that would chase him. I often wonder how fast he was. How much did he enjoy running? How long did he run? I wonder what it would have been like to run with him. Sometimes on my long runs I will feel a breeze at my back. I li...