This is who I really am.

This week's Music Monday is "Superman's Dead" by Our Lady Peace. This is a live version from Woodstock '99. I was there! But that is only the reason why I picked this version. The reason I picked the song is because I am in the middle of a "pity party." It's mine and I'm having it. This past week I was feeling really good about how my knee was feeling. I decided to bump up what I was doing because I really felt much better........bad idea. I really felt like I was babying it too much, but apparently I was doing the right things. Also, recently I was talking to a couple people and one of them made the comment: "I thought he was Superman?" Nope. Superman's Dead. Enjoy.

This week's Music Monday is "This Time" by Depswa. This is so very much a song that I can relate to. It's one that every time I hear it my blood begins to boil. My fists clinch. My teeth grind. This is a song about me. The psychological battle within is the hardest to win. We often know the way to win but we constantly let our "mental demons" get the best of us. I know how to lose the extra weight I am carrying right now. I just keep losing these little mental battles with myself. But THIS TIME I've finally had enough! THIS TIME I'm ready to fight! Everyone has these battles. They can be about anything in your life, not just weight loss. So if you keep losing these same mental or emotional battles with yourself I suggest you clinch your fist and say: This time, I think you'll finally see This time, I will not break This time, I'm smart enough to know There is only so much I'll take This time, I'm gonna make change This ti...

This week's Music Monday is "Superstar II" by Saliva. Lately I have been really struggling with this whole "not running" thing. I finally went to the doctor in March and was diagnosed with tendinitis. The doctor told me I could do whatever I want....as long as it doesn't inflame the knee. In other words: no running. For two months. I thought it wouldn't be that hard. I could still lift weights as long as I wasn't using my knee. This was actually a bonus because I HATE doing walking lunges. (If you've ever seen my do walking lunges, then drop and do four push ups, it is one push up for each letter of the four letter word I want to scream out loud.) I also had found pool running  as a way to "run". I knew what I could and couldn't do, now it was time to do those things that were allowed. I came up with a plan and thought it was a good one. Not quite. The plan: MWF - Pool running. 1+ hour in the pool running and swimming. Tu...

This week's Music Monday is "30 60 90" by Oleander. This is my perfect "Thursday morning song." Thursday morning is when, if I'm getting all of my workouts in and doing more at work and doing everything that I want to do with my family and...., I am about to crash. I had  this post  at the first of the year where I talked about needing balance and perspective. I talked to someone I usually lean on about this kind of stuff and came to the realization that I need to do things  my way to feel balanced. I'm not sure they meant I need to run myself ragged but that is when I feel the most balanced. If that is the case then right now I am REALLY balanced. This song is about drug addiction. For me this song is about my addiction to trying to be selfish and unselfish at the same time. It perfectly describes the way I tend to feel at times. I decided to use it when I was sitting on a workout bench Saturday morning as it was playing on my iPod and I...

This week's Music Monday is "Bully" by Shinedown. This song lashes out against bullying. It has more than one special meaning for me. I've been bullied. I've bullied others. I've had others close to me be bullies or bullied. I have kids that I fear may be bullied or be bullies themselves. When I was in middle school I was bullied. This kid harassed me, and others, at school. He would call me at home and harass me. He would beat up his sister while he was on the phone with me. I really never knew how to handle the situation. Finally when we got to high school he became less of a bully to me because there were less opportunities because we had less classes together and I think he was a little intimidated by the upperclassmen. I think he also realized that girls didn't like that stuff and like all teenage boys he wanted attention from girls. From what I can tell about him now he is not anywhere near the person he was back then. To him: I truly regret that...