This is who I really am.

This week's Music Monday is "Breathe" by Seven Channels. This is "one of those songs". One that I listen to that expresses my emotion of missing my father. Sunday night as I was getting myself ready to go back to work after a week of vacation I started thinking about how happy I was being a father. This song kept popping up in my head. One other thing kept sticking in my head: "are you proud of me Daddy?" That was my 5 year old daughter as I was teaching her to ride her bike with no training wheels. As this song kept playing in my head right along with Sophie's question, I stopped and wondered...."are you proud of me Daddy?"

This week's Music Monday is "Let The Sparks Fly" by Thousand Foot Krutch. This is Nate and Sophie's new favorite song. They lose their freaking minds every time they hear it! The song is exactly the kind of music Nate likes. It's high energy and has a positive message. Sophie loves the parts when the lead singer sings with a higher pitched voice. They both love the "gimme 1....gimme2....gimme3" count.  We went to watch my niece play softball last week and they didn't want to get out of the car until the song was over! Reminds me of the way my sister and I acted when we were kids with my dad. Watching them through the rearview mirror helps me remember the way my dad would smile at us with great love. Enjoy!

This week's Music Monday is "Turn the Page" by Bob Seger. Back in September I did a post here  about a Bob Seger song that means a lot to me. In it I told the story of how I always wanted to go to his concert. Well, just a couple weeks after I wrote that I got an email from Ticketmaster that said that he was playing in Memphis in December. This time I was going! The concert was great. It was everything I expected it to be. He put on an awesome show. It was also really cool that my mom and my sister were there. I seriously felt my dad's presence there with me. I had chills the whole concert. It really helped that there were a bunch of drunk people around me to keep me from freaking out that I was finally doing something that I have wanted to do since I was a kid. This is a song that I love to listen to when I am on a long run. It is a song about him being a musician on the road. I kinda relate it to being on a long run. Out there in the spotlight You'r...

This week's Music Monday is "Fall to Pieces" by Velvet Revolver. This is a very special song for me. It is a song that reminds me of how I have always handled my father's death. I have always been someone who would not really share what is bothering me. This is especially true when it comes to talking about this. My father passed when I was nine so I really had a hard time dealing with it as a kid/teenager/adult. I could always talk to my mother or my sister but I felt the need to deal with it on my own. As I got older it was even harder dealing with it. I remember a couple of times as a young adult when I just completely broke down when talking about it. (If you were one of those people that I confided in, thank you for listening.) The chorus - "Every time I'm falling down, All alone I fall to pieces" - struck me the first time I heard it. It really captures that feeling that I had for so many years. The feeling of keeping everything inside and de...

This week's Music Monday is Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock & Roll". This song is very special to me because it is me and my Dad's song. When I was younger, probably 8 or 9, we would listen to the Bob Seger "Nine Tonight" tape all the time. It is a "live" album and one of my all-time favorites. Any time we would go somewhere I would ask him to play it. I always wanted to hear this song but those of you old enough to remember tapes know that it was not easy to just go to a song. So we would listen to the whole tape and turn it up when this song came on. I remember my parents being pretty big Bob Seger fans. I remember once they went to his concert and me and my sister had to spend the night with a family friend. I was pretty upset that I didn't get to go. I couldn't wait to see my dad and ask him all about it. "How was it?" "What songs did he play?" "How many people were there?" "Were there any kids ...

My latest Music Monday post is a very personal one. I have read a few blog posts from different people that were letters to relatives, usually parents, that had passed away. When I read these I am amazed at how strong these people are and how I really don't think I could do that. It has been 23 years today since my father passed away so if I were to do one I wouldn't even know where to start or what to say. There is a song that is perfectly written with the words that I would say. The song is "My Goodbyes" by Saliva. The first time I heard it I was blown away because it was everything that I have felt. Especially the part about feeling like I have wasted time. I have always felt that if I wasn't thinking about him I was wasting time and being a terrible son. Saliva is one of my favorite bands. This album came out in 2001 but I remember when the lead singer Josey Scott's father passed away. It was sometime between 1998 and 2000. That time is all a blur no...

I remember watching my dad run when I was a kid. I remember looking out the window thinking how awesome it was. I remember asking him about running and telling him that I wanted to run with him one day. I never got a chance to. I really had kind of forgotten those memories until recently. I started running when I was 28. That was nineteen years after he passed away. I always knew I wanted to run but never really tried. I have a picture of him running. His running form looks like mine. So I guess that means that my perfect running form was inherited. He carried a small bullwhip he got from Mexico as protection from the dogs on his route. I have that whip but I haven't felt the need to carry it yet. Everytime I see it I remember him telling me about the dogs that would chase him. I often wonder how fast he was. How much did he enjoy running? How long did he run? I wonder what it would have been like to run with him. Sometimes on my long runs I will feel a breeze at my back. I li...